Going through a divorce is never easy but particularly when you have children. This can be a highly upsetting experience for children to go through at all ages and it is important that you handle this process with care so that there is no lasting damage. In fact, you could even find that you are a more tolerant, flexible and understanding person after a divorce. It is difficult to know what to say or do when you are going through a divorce, and there is no easy way to help a child through the process, but here are a few suggestions which should help.
Explaining The Divorce
It is important that you explain to your children that you are not splitting up because of them and that you will both continue to be there to love and support them. If possible, this should be a calm conversation that is had with your spouse and the children, and you should try to answer any questions as honestly as possible.
Shield Them From Arguments
Divorce tends to come with many arguments, and this can be distressing to witness particularly for youngsters. It is for this reason why you should try to keep arguments behind closed doors – hopefully, you will both understand the importance of this and put their needs first.
Avoid Creating Divides
You should not try to get your child “on your side” by speaking negatively about your spouse or their family. Divorce should not be an “us and them” situation, and instead, it should be about finding the best way for parents to go their separate ways while still providing a loving and supportive environment for their kids. This is not always possible, and it can take time to reach this stage.
Maintain Their Schedule
It is important to keep their routine the same, even while going through the divorce. Children find safety in routines so try to keep everything as normal as you can while everything is being arranged. This will include lifts to and from school, dinner time, when to go to bed, and still being able to socialise with friends.
Seeking Legal Support
Identifying solicitors that specialise in family law, such as Justice Family Lawyers, is helpful because they will make the process as easy as possible and have expertise in matters like child custody. The legalities can be complex, so having an established firm in your corner is highly valuable.
Listen To Their Concerns
You are sure to have your own emotions and concerns about the divorce but so will your child. Take the time to listen to what they are worried about and try to provide as much support as possible. For some children, it can be helpful to speak to a counsellor about their parents going through a divorce (this could be while it is happening or further down the line).
Separating from your spouse is an emotional time but especially if you have children. It is important to put their needs first and the above should help you to care for your child while going through the divorce process.